


Local Tall Boy and a Camera

by stonegoldbitch



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: "Ever wondered why Sam leads the town in community service hours?, Fluff, Gen, a youtube video mayhaps, kinda a 5+1 but barely, sam is notoriously dumb, this is the sdv equivalent of when boys go to their local mall and ask strangers dumb questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 13:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19464619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonegoldbitch/pseuds/stonegoldbitch
Summary: Sam wants to be a YouTuber. Here's his attempt at a video.





	Local Tall Boy and a Camera

The date on the bottom left corner of the video reads Summer 12, 2019 and a smiling Sam is the focus of the clip. 

"Whaddup it's your local tall boy, Sam Alder and behind the camera is Sebastian Makino. We're gonna find out what people think is the craziest thing that has happened in Pelican Town."

* * *

The video jumps to town square, and zooms into Penny, reading under her tree.

"First target. Penny Norbeck." 

Sam runs up to her and the camera hastily follows. He quickly explains the video and sits down next to her and holds an inactive mic out to her.

"So we came here to ask, in your opinion, what is the craziest thing someone else in this town has done?"

"Hmm." She looks up, a mischievous grin lighting up her face. "Not naming names, but a certain someone slathering raspberry flavored lube on the seats of the Mayor's pickup truck is up there. And the 50 hours of community service they got for it." Penny gives Sam a quick glance before laughing in his face. He sticks his tongue out at her. 

"You're not allowed to defame me like this! They had no evidence it was me!" He looks directly into the camera. "Cuuuuut!"

* * *

The film cuts to Alex, manning the ice cream stand, while Sam twirls the mic in front of him. 

"When you put a mixture of JojaCola and tree sap in the potluck yesterday. And then chugged the remaining mix to prove that it tasted good and that the governor was being overdramatic. You absolute madman." He stares directly at Sam, trying not to crack up. Sam looks irritated, as if he had to defend his pro JojaCola stance before, and quickly says,

"JojaCola is really good, first of all, and tree sap is not terrible. We really have haters here."

From behind the camera, a voice yells,

"Give it up, you're so weird!"

* * *

An obviously drunk Leah stands at a saloon table, doodling abstract designs in a sketch pad. Sam awkwardly stands next to her, waiting for her to answer the question. She continues sketching, avoiding eye contact as she talks. 

"Your little walnut self eating a burnt mayo, bug meat, and snail sandwich on that strange bread or whatever because your little boyfriend asked nicely. The insanity." Leah looks sick to her stomach just thinking about the sandwich. Sam's face wrinkles up, remembering how bad the sandwich was. "See? You're not even defending yourself." He nods along, and turns away. 

The camera whips around and focuses on Shane, leaning against the wall of the saloon. As Sam approaches, Shane rolls his eyes and Sam props his arm against his shoulder. He asks the same question and Shane leans towards the microphone, grabbing it as if it actually worked. 

"Easy. When this guy I work with lost his Axe body spray in the pizza freezer, found it two seasons later, microwaved it at work and burned himself using it. What a weirdo."

He takes another sip of beer as Sam snatches the mic away and scolds Shane for exposing him yet again. As Shane ignores Sam's pestering, the camera pans away to face the arcade. Sam pops back into frame, walking towards the head of purple hair.

"Abbyyy! What's the craziest thing someone else in this town has done?" Sam asks, plopping down next to Abigail on the red sofa. She looks around, thinking for a moment before her face lights up.

"When you yelled at a sheep on the farmer's farm and broke into the animal pen to fight it. And then you had to give an apology gift to the sheep. Whatta classic. But I still don't know what compelled you to do that." 

"I am proud I fought that sheep because someone needed to. Terrence is a big asshole okay? He KNOWS what he's doing. Yoba, when will someone give me a break?"

* * *

The ice cream stand is back, although this time Haley is the focus. She fidgets around with a bracelet while Sam repeats the question.

"Well, Marnie's insane for letting Lewis smash," she says nonchalantly. 

"Wait, WHAT?" 

"You didn't know? It's been happening. I think she deserves better, but it's her life y'know?" 

Sam is visibly shocked, obviously threatened by the fact that the old mayor is sexually active. Two off screen laughs snap Sam out of his disgust. 

"Dude, we all knew this, what rock do you live under?" says the voice behind the camera. 

Sam flips the camera off and diverts his attention back to Haley. 

"Okay okay anyway, you're the first person not to bring up something past me did, so we're bffs now."

"You drank that JojaCola sap yesterday bro, that is barely the past."

"Shut the fuck up Alex."

* * *

Sebastian sits on his bed, with a sleepy Sam laying on his lap, blonde hair drooping over his face. Sebastian speaks softly, as to not disturb him.

"The results are in, the love of my life is a dumbass as we knew and he's officially the craziest person in town." He looks down at Sam, and gives him a quick kiss on the forehead. "I really don't know what he expected from this, but you're definitely getting more dumb content from him."

"Subscribe to my channel babyyyyy," he says drowsily. He throws a peace sign and the film cuts off.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short little piece. I didn't write this one in one sitting so maybe it's actually okay. And yes one of my sheep is named Terrence.


End file.
